Moments
by XxLynChanxX
Summary: The one year anniversary of a tragedy, and Simon is expected to do a concert. There's only one solution: to dedicate a song to Jeanette. Song-Fic with the song Moments by One Direction. Rated T for suicide references.


Simon woke for the third time that night, tears pouring down his face. He turned to the empty space in his bed. The place Jeanette used to sleep before...

November 13th. It had been a year since Jeanette had taken the entire bottle of sleeping pills and ended her life, and it had haunted Simon ever since. What had possessed her to do something like that, he never found out. There were some days that he considered following her and ending his life. Living without Jeanette was nothing but pain and misery.

"Si, you ready?" a soft voice asked from the doorway. Simon turned and saw his brother, Alvin, standing there, wearing a black tux.

Of course, the concert. How could Simon forget? It had caused an argument with Dave last week.

-Flashback-

"The concert will be on Thursday," Dave announced. Simon froze and glared at Dave.

"The thirteenth?" he asked, his voice dripping with venom. Dave nodded and Simon exploded.

"You expect me to perform on the anniversary of my girlfriend's suicide?" he screeched. Alvin grabbed Simon's wrist and Theodore ran around, trying to help.

"It was the only day available," Dave said, trying to remain calm.

"I don't care! I can't go out there knowing that a year ago, Jeanette needed me and I wasn't there for her!" Simon ripped himself from Alvin's grasp, storming into his room and slamming the door shut.

-End Flashback-

"I'm coming," Simon said crossly. Alvin took the hint and left Simon alone, most likely to get ready. Concert preparation took hours.

Simon picked up a picture of Jeanette that he kept on his bedside table and ran a single finger across the dusty surface.

"I miss you Jenny," he said, tears rolling down his face. "I only wish I could've helped you. That I could've been there when you needed me most. I'm so sorry Jeanette," Simon placed the photo gently on the table, letting his eyes rest on the smiling face of Jeanette.

~XoXo~

Simon adjusted his tux, glancing into the cheering crowd. He felt a rush of hatred for them, cheering and happy while he was suffering.

"Alvin, can we change the last number? I want to dedicate something to Jeanette."

"Sure thing Si. What did you have in mind?" Simon locked eyes with Alvin, and Alvin nodded. He knew just the song.

"Take lead vocals Si. It'll mean so much more coming from you." Alvin patted his brother's back and Simon took the stage. The crowd went silent when Simon stepped up to the mic.

"A year ago today, Jeanette, a member of the Chipettes, took her life for reasons unknown to anyone but herself. I would like to take this opportunity to perform a song in her memory."

Alvin and Theodore joined Simon onstage, taking the backup vocals. Simon took a deep breath and began to sing, an image of Jeanette clear in his head.

_Shut the door, turn the light off  
I wanna be with you  
I wanna feel your love  
I wanna lay beside you  
I cannot hide this even though I try_

Heart beats harder  
Time escapes me  
Trembling hands touch skin  
It makes this harder  
And the tears stream down my face

If we could only have this life for one more day  
If we could only turn back time

You know I'll be  
Your life, your voice your reason to be  
My love, my heart  
Is breathing for this  
Moment in time  
I'll find the words to say  
Before you leave me today

Close the door  
Throw the key  
Don't wanna be reminded  
Don't wanna be seen  
Don't wanna be without you  
My judgment is clouded  
Like tonight's sky

Hands are silent  
Voice is numb  
Try to scream out my lungs  
But it makes this harder  
And the tears stream down my face

If we could only have this life for one more day  
If we could only turn back time

You know I'll be  
Your life, your voice your reason to be  
My love, my heart  
Is breathing for this  
Moment in time  
I'll find the words to say  
Before you leave me today

Flashes left in my mind  
Going back to the time  
Playing games in the street  
Kicking balls with my feet  
Dancing on with my toes  
Standing close to the edge  
There's a pile of my clothes  
At the end of your bed  
As I feel myself fall  
Make a joke of it all

You know I'll be  
Your life, your voice your reason to be  
My love, my heart  
Is breathing for this  
Moment in time  
I'll find the words to say  
Before you leave me today

You know I'll be  
Your life, your voice your reason to be  
My love, my heart  
Is breathing for this  
Moment in time  
I'll find the words to say  
Before you leave me today

Simon stepped back from the mic, wiping the tears from his eyes. Behind him, Alvin and Theodore also had tears rolling down their faces, and there wasn't a dry eye in the house. Simon took his place at the mic again, facing the crowd.

"I love you Jeanette," he managed to say before the tears became so thick and fast that he couldn't speak. Alvin rushed forward, grabbing his brother, and Theodore quickly joined in. Together, they took Simon backstage and helped him into a chair.

"You okay bro?" Alvin asked, concern filling his amber eyes. Simon nodded, bringing the image of Jeanette back into his mind.

"I just wish I knew why," Simon finally sobbed. Alvin put a comforting hand on his brother's back.

"We all do Si. We all miss her. Not as much as you, but we miss her. C'mon Si, let's get you home,"

~XoXo~

Simon sat on his bed, gazing into the eyes of the photo Jeanette. He hugged the photo close, wishing for the millionth time that the real Jeanette was there to comfort him. It wasn't until he went to return the photo to the bed table that he noticed a small white envelope sticking out of the frame.

Simon grabbed the envelope and slid it out of the frame. Across the front in Jeanette's handwriting was one word.

Simon.

Simon ripped open the envelope and a sheet of soft purple paper fell to the bed. Snatching it up, Simon scanned the paper carefully.

Dear Simon,  
I'm sorry I had to leave you this way, but I just couldn't keep on going. There was nothing you could've done for me. You did everything just by being there when things got really bad. I love you Simon. Always have, always will. Even now that I'm choosing to leave this life, I love you. Please remember that when you think of me. Tell my sisters I love them, and that it isn't their fault. It's nobody's fault. I made this choice on my own. No one could've saved me. Tell Dave and Claire that I appreciate everything they did for me. But most of all Simon, tell yourself that you did everything you could, but nothing could've saved me. Tell yourself that I love you because, Simon, I do, and I'll never stop. Not even in death.  
Love, Jeanette

Simon read the letter over and over until he had it memorized. He tucked the letter into its envelope and slipped the envelope behind the picture frame. He sat, waiting for the tears to come, but his eyes remained dry. He put the photo back on the table and smiled for the first time in a year.

"I love you too Jeanette," he said softly.


End file.
